The Story of Instant Messaging on an Island
by hwkitty
Summary: The Incredible Story of Instant Messaging on an Island wouldn't fit :/ T for some language. Ch. 17 up: In which everyone wakes up in a strange place...
1. jack, kate and sawyer go on a quest

**The Incredible Story of Instant Messaging on an Island  
A/N: Nearly everyone is alive. If there are any characters you'd like to see, review!! Also, if anyone's already done this, I'm sorry ;/**

****

Jack: **wearetheisland**  
Kate: **freckles**  
Sawyer: **thatconguy**  
Charlie: **rockstarindiapers**  
Hurley: **duuude**  
Juliet: **babydr**  
Locke: **mrphilosophy**  
Daniel: **spazofphysics  
**Desmond: **pushthebutton  
**Sayid: **notaterrorist**  
Sun: **gardengirl  
**Jin: **namehere  
**Charlotte: **bitchymcbitcherson**  
Ben: **manbehindthecurtain**  
Miles: **iseedeadguys**  
Danielle: **crazyforestlady**

****

**wearetheisland** _has entered the chat._  
**freckles **_has entered the chat._  
**duuude** _has entered the chat._  
**spazofphysics** _has entered the chat._

**wearetheisland:** hi guys

**freckles:** hey Jack

**duuude:** is nobody else thinking about how weird this is?

**spazofphysics:** what?

**duuude: **umm, that we don't have computers and are still in IM

**spazofphysics: **not really

**wearetheisland: **i need something to do

**freckles:** we could always go trekking around the island after some lost cause

**wearetheisland: **i'm liking that idea, lets go get sawyer

**freckles: **but u hate sawyer cause he's trying to steal me from u or something

**wearetheisland: **true but we can't go w/o him anyway, he'd bitch about it forever

**spazofphysics:** can i come?

**wearetheisland: **NO… i mean sorry we can't take you

**spazofphysics: **=(

**duuude:** c'mon man, don't be a h8r

**wearetheisland **_is away: off to find sawyer and go on a hunt for nothing! i mean adventure_

**freckles **_is away: off to find sawyer and jack and go on an exciting adventure :D_

**spazofphysics **_has left the chat (Quit: I'm going on an adventure, dammit)_

**duuude: **aww, i'm alone

**rockstarindiapers** _has entered the chat._

**rockstarindiapers: **hey hurley u up for some golf??

**duuude: **yeah… thx for saving me from dying of boredom

**rockstarindiapers: **it's what i do, man… it's what i do. now let's go

**rockstarindiapers** _has left the chat (Quit: rockstarindiapers)_

**duuude **_has left the chat (Quit: duuude)_

****

**A/N: it'll get better next chapter, I promise. I might do that chapter tonight to rid myself of boredom, so just review ;D**


	2. daniel's piphone & Jin as Perez Hilton

**A/N: yay, reviewers! I love youuuu 3 I'll be sure to use your ideas sometime in the future! :D And I forgot Claire o_0**

********

Jack: **wearetheisland**  
Kate: **freckles**  
Sawyer: **thatconguy**  
Charlie: **rockstarindiapers**  
Hurley: **duuude**  
Juliet: **babydr**  
Locke: **mrphilosophy**  
Daniel: **spazofphysics  
**Desmond: **pushthebutton  
**Sayid: **notaterrorist**  
Sun: **gardengirl  
**Jin: **namehere (changed to Jin)  
**Charlotte: **bitchymcbitcherson**  
Ben: **manbehindthecurtain**  
Miles: **iseedeadguys**  
Danielle: **crazyforestlady  
**Richard: **dontdoaging  
**Claire: **anonymous (changed to backfromthedead)**

****

**anonymouse **_has entered the chat.  
_**notaterrorist **_has entered the chat.  
_**manbehindthecurtain**_ has entered the chat._  
**spazofphysics **_has entered the chat._  
**namehere **_has entered the chat.  
_**gardengirl **_has entered the chat._

**namehere **_has changed their name to _**Jin.**

**Jin: **Wassup bbs! I may not speak English perfectly, but I can sure as hell type it!

**gardengirl:** … have you been reading Perez Hilton?

**Jin: **No… bb… IT WAS OPEN WHEN I GOT HERE

**manbehindthecurtain: **Would you two mind shutting up?

**Jin: **Yes. bb.

**spazofphysics: **do any of u kno where jack/kate/sawyer went? i'm texting from the jungle

**notaterrorist: **…texting? since when can you text?

**spazofphysics: **on my supercool Pi-phone ™

**anonymouse: **i'm back from the dead, go tell Charlie

**Jin:** you spelled anonymous wrong, bb.

**anonymouse: **ugh

**anonymouse **_has changed their name to _**anonymous.**

**manbehindthecurtain: **and everyone KNOWS it's you, Claire.

**notaterrorist: **BEN?! I'MMA KILL YOU CAUSE I'M BORED! GRRR

**notaterrorist **_is away: Off to kill Ben, back in 10… haha, that rhymes :D_

**manbehindthecurtain: **Shit.

**manbehindthecurtain** _has left the chat (Quit: torture hurts, ok?)_

**anonymous: **jack, kate and sawyer went to find the excellent sparkling rainbow of truth and joy

**spazofphysics: **wtf? w/o me? i could tell them all about it while making crazy hand gestures. doesn't any1 love me? **:c **i miss charlotte

**Jin: **who, bitchy? why? ur a good guy danny u deserve better

**gardengirl: **don't you dare say bb or i'll take away your computer

**spazofphysics: ***sniff* don't h8 on her Jin she's nice when u get to know her

**crazyforestlady **_has logged into the chat._

**crazyforestlady: **I just sighted Ben running toward the beach with Sayid chasing him with some sort of weapon and laughing maniacally. Anyone care to explain?

**anonymous: **sayid got bored, k?

**crazyforestlady: **Ookay, Claire.

**Jin: **see, even Danielle knows it's you Claire… and danny you saw her when she was a kid and were like in love w/ her and stuff and i don't know how i know this, but anyway ur a pedo now

**spazofphysics: **sh-shut up! don't diss our love! now if u excuse me, i have a rainbow to find

**spazofphysics **_is away: trying to find a rainbow ok? don't h8_

**anonymous **_has changed their name to _**backfromthedead.**

**gardengirl: **well I'm going to go tend to the garden

**Jin: **love ya 33

**gardengirl: ** :]

**gardengirl **_has left the chat (Quit: gardengirl)_

**Jin **_has left the chat (Quit: I got bored)_

**backfromthedead: **someone tell Charlie to get on chat, kk?

**crazyforestlady: **If I see him, maybe I will.

**crazyforestlady **_has left the chat (Quit: I need to shoot something and set some insane traps)_

**backfromthedead: **omg don't shoot Charlie D:

**backfromthedead **_has left the chat (Quit: OMG)_

****

**A/N: Reviews for Daniel's pedo-love and Pi-phone™? **


	3. jack runs into trouble

**A/N: -squeal- I'm getting reviews :D **

Jack: **wearetheisland**  
Kate: **freckles**  
Sawyer: **thatconguy**  
Charlie: **rockstarindiapers**  
Hurley: **duuude**  
Juliet: **babydr**  
Locke: **mrphilosophy**  
Daniel: **spazofphysics  
**Desmond: **pushthebutton  
**Sayid: **notaterrorist**  
Sun: **gardengirl  
**Jin: **Jin  
**Charlotte: **bitchymcbitcherson (changed to imissmydannykins)**  
Ben: **manbehindthecurtain**  
Miles: **iseedeadguys**  
Danielle: **crazyforestlady  
**Richard: **dontdoaging  
**Claire: **backfromthedead**  
Boone: **ihateplanes**  
Shannon: **betterthanu**  
Libby: can anyone think of a name for her? :/

****

**bitchymcbitcherson **_has entered the chat._  
**manbehindthecurtain** _has entered the chat._  
**notaterrorist **_has entered the chat.  
_**dontdoaging** _has entered the chat._

**notaterrorist: **-sulking-

**manbehindthecurtain: **Is there a problem, Sayid?

**notaterrorist: **I'm ignoring you D: except for telling you I'm ignoring you

**manbehindthecurtain: **-.- How juvenile. At least you're back at the beach. I'm hiding.

**notaterrorist: **from me? :D I'm flattered.

**manbehindthecurtain: **-scowl- No, from that insane jungle woman.

**dontdoaging: **Actually, I think her name is crazyforestlady

**manbehindthecurtain: **whatever, Richard.

**bitchymcbitcherson: **who chose this name for me? I don't like it :/ And why hasn't anyone said hi to me yet?

**manbehindthecurtain: **Well, judging from the last season, you're supposed to be dead and we weren't on the best of terms anyway.

**bitchymcbitcherson: **Huh? Oh, where's Daniel when I need him?? -sob-

**bitchymcbitcherson **_has changed their name to _**imissmydannykins.**

**spazofphysics **_has entered the chat._

**imissmydannykins: **Daniel?!

**spazofphysics: **Charlotte? :o

**imissmydannykins: **-huggle- I missed you! Where are you, anyway?

**spazofphysics: **looking for jack & kate & sawyer on their quest to find a rainbow, but that's not important. aren't you dead? :(

**imissmydannykins: **uhhh… no…

**spazofphysics: **Oh. then it's all good :D except now i need to get back to the beach

**dontdoaging: **i could come get you

**spazofphysics: **umm, that won't be necessary

**dontdoaging: **is it the fact that I don't age? what's so creepy about it? I don't get it **:c**

**manbehindthecurtain: **don't bother, Richard, he'll find his way back -giggle-

**dontdoaging: **Ben…?

**manbehindthecurtain: **Yes?

**dontdoaging: **you just giggled.

**manbehindthecurtain: **no, I didn't.

**dontdoaging: **Yes you did.

**manbehindthecurtain: **No I didn't!

**notaterrorist: **SHUT UP!

**dontdoaging: **o_0

**manbehindthecurtain: **0_o

**notaterrorist: **jeez, you guys fight over such petty things

**dontdoaging: **if you're referring to the whole book club thing, it was because he didn't invite me

**manbehindthecurtain: **-scoff- You don't strike me as a reader, Richard. Sor_ry._ I mean, we were reading _Twilight _that day, it was Juliet's idea…

**babydr **_has entered the chat. _

**babydr: **hi guys!

**notaterrorist: **Kate, Sawyer and Jack are off having a love triangle without you

**babydr: **really? they didn't want a love quadrilateral?

**manbehindthecurtain: **Guess not.

**babydr: **UGH

**wearetheisland **_has entered the chat. _

**wearetheisland: **Guys we need help!!

**notaterrorist: **With what?

**wearetheisland: **i think the cameraman is dead & we don't know what to do

**notaterrorist: **get a new one, there's a camera base camp somewhere on the island

**wearetheisland: **but we need someone to film our dramatic quest for nothi- I MEAN ADVENTURE

**babydr: **Jack, why didn't u tell me u three were leaving?

**wearetheisland: **well… that's an awkward thing… we weren't sure whether to bring you or not.

**babydr: **uhh, why not?

**wearetheisland: **sawyer was kinda concerned that you'd mess up our love triangle

**babydr: **that shouldn't exist anymore, tell that bitch kate sawyer is MINE

**wearetheisland: **ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… no can do.

**babydr: **=c

**wearetheisland: **we're kind of screwed until next January, cuz what r we supposed to do b/w seasons?

**imissmydannykins: **hey Jack, where r u guys?

**wearetheisland: **on our way to the camera base camp

**spazofphysics: **thanks, Charlotte! ok, Jack, I'll see u guys there

**wearetheisland: **shit.

**wearetheisland **_is away: gotta get to the base camp fast._

**spazofphysics: **i'm getting this vague feeling he doesn't like me that much…

**manbehindthecurtain: **_Right._

**dontdoaging **_is away: YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW WHY_

**manbehindthecurtain: **???

**manbehindthecurtain **_has logged out (Quit: hmmmm)_

**spazofphysics **_has logged out (Quit: spazofphysics)_

**notaterrorist **_has logged out (Quit: in pursuit of that bug-eyed monster)_

**imissmydannykins: **I'm all alone… noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

****

**In the next installment of Lost instant messenger, will Jack, Kate and Sawyer make it to the camera base camp before Daniel does? Probably. Will Juliet destroy the infamous love triangle? I dunno. Will Charlotte die from neglect? Hopefully. What did Richard log out for? Why am I asking all these questions?**

**Find out in the next installment of Lost IM...  
Uh, that was the cue for the freaky outro, peeps…**

**Oh, there we go. Bye!**


	4. in which sawyer and juliet are awkward

A/N: ooh, the next installment… don't forget to review! Reviews are happiness in my soul. I had a good day today, so I'm full of ideas :D I thought I'd end this chapter at a certain point but I'll start another _rightaway_ ;D

Jack: **wearetheisland**  
Kate: **freckles**  
Sawyer: **thatconguy **  
Charlie: **rockstarindiapers**  
Hurley: **duuude**  
Juliet: **babydr**  
Locke: **mrphilosophy**  
Daniel: **spazofphysics  
**Desmond: **pushthebutton  
**Sayid: **notaterrorist**  
Sun: **gardengirl  
**Jin: **Jin  
**Charlotte: **imissmydannykins**  
Ben: **manbehindthecurtain**  
Miles: **iseedeadguys**  
Danielle: **crazyforestlady  
**Richard: **dontdoaging  
**Claire: **backfromthedead**  
Boone: **ihateplanes**  
Shannon: **betterthanu**  
Libby: **moonbeam**

****

**dontdoaging **_has entered the chat._  
**betterthanu **_has entered the chat._  
**duuude **_has entered the chat._  
**pushthebutton **_has entered the chat._  
**thatconguy **_has entered the chat._

**dontdoaging: **I don't get it

**duuude: **??? get what?

**dontdoaging: **what's so great about this book

**thatconguy: **what book?

**dontdoaging: **the one… you know, the one with the vampires… noon, dusk, whatever. Some time of day

**betterthanu: **Twilight?

**dontdoaging: **yeah, that! :D anyway, I found a copy on my daily creepy walk on the beach and brought it back here

**betterthanu **_is away: Is my copy of Twilight still in my suitcase??_

**pushthebutton: **eh?what is this?

**duuude: **the local Island IM

**pushthebutton: **well I need to push the button! I just slid over to the computer here and this was onscreen

**duuude: **dude, we imploded that hatch, it's cool

**pushthebutton: **oh. well the computer survived

**betterthanu **_is back: gone for 0 days, 0 hrs, 7 ½ min_

**betterthanu: **RICHARD

**dontdoaging: **what? ;_;

**betterthanu: **that was MY copy of Twilight! I want it back!

**dontdoaging: **but I haven't finished it yet!

**betterthanu: **I was re-reading it

**dontdoaging **_has logged out (Quit: NO! I have to find out what happens to Bella!)_

**betterthanu **_has logged out (Quit: I am not responsible for my actions from now until I get my book back)_

**thatconguy: **haha, can't wait to see how this turns out. betcha she'll get ol' Capn Falafel to torture her for him

**pushthebutton: **okay… so I guess I'll head down to the beach then… txt me

**duuude: **since when do u have a phone?

**pushthebutton: **ah,that fellow Faraday gave me a Pi-phone™ from a fallen comrade…

**babydr **_has entered the chat._

**thatconguy: **yo, blondie, what's going on? I hear a fight

**babydr: **jeez, if you'd leave your tent you'd see, but I guess I could tell you anyway

**thatconguy: **alrighty then

**babydr: **Shannon has tackled Richard and

**thatconguy: **ooh, steamy

**babydr: **-mutter- anyway, they're fighting for her Twilight book

**thatconguy: **she did fall for sayid so I'd say she's got a thing for older guys :P

**babydr: **whatever -.-

**thatconguy: **what?

**babydr: **…nothing

**babydr **_has logged out (Quit: babydr)_

**thatconguy: **…was it something I said?

****

;D review for the SawyerJuliet awkwardness?


	5. of quests and typos

A/N: I just realized no one's seen Locke yet!

Jack: **wearetheisland**  
Kate: **freckles**  
Sawyer: **thatconguy**  
Charlie: **rockstarindiapers**  
Hurley: **duuude**  
Juliet: **babydr**  
Locke: **mrphilosophy**  
Daniel: **spazofphysics  
**Desmond: **pushthebutton  
**Sayid: **notaterrorist**  
Sun: **gardengirl  
**Jin: **Jin  
**Charlotte: **imissmydannykins**  
Ben: **manbehindthecurtain**  
Miles: **iseedeadguys**  
Danielle: **crazyforestlady  
**Richard: **dontdoaging  
**Claire: **backfromthedead**  
Boone: **ihateplanes**  
Shannon: **betterthanu**  
Libby: **moonbeam**

****

**ihateplanes **_has entered the chat._  
**mrphilosophy **_has entered the chat._  
**spazofphysics **_has entered the chat._  
**thatconguy** _has entered the chat._  
**iseedeadguys **_has entered the chat._  
**rockstarindiapers **_has entered the chat. _

**ihateplanes: **hi

**mrphilosophy: **Boone? lol I typed Boobe on my first try. computers are so finicky

**ihateplanes: **jeez, Locke, make fun of my name why don't you :/

**mrphilosophy: **it's one letter away! cut me some slack. and anyway,there are worse mistakes I've made

**ihateplanes: **like letting me go in that plane for so long?

**mrphilosophy: **that was FIRST SEASON, okay? forget it. and besides, I told you to get out

**spazofphysics: **is this a bad time? ;_;

**mrphilosophy: **no, Daniel, stay if you want

**thatconguy: **full house tonight… eh, Twitchy?

**spazofphysics: **sh-shut up

**thatconguy: **-smirk-

**iseedeadguys: **i don't see what's so exciting about this

**thatconguy: **it's something to do

**rockstarindiapers: **it keeps me from doing drugs :D

**thatconguy: **… whatever?

**spazofphysics: **anyway, I'm approaching the camera base camp and there's no sign of jack/kate/sawyer

**wearetheisland **_has entered the chat._

**wearetheisland: **Daniel in here?

**spazofphysics: **yeah

**wearetheisland: **where are you?

**spazofphysics: **I smell hamburgers?

**wearetheisland: **crap, we do too and it's making us hungry and al;uhjnfa;ouhe91238euvnhg

**wearetheisland: **sorry, kate wants the Pi-phone™ we stole from Char- I MEAN SOMEONE and UOEHFS*()&6aikrwnjf dammit, Kate, stop it lahyuefwaiooei trying to talk!!

**thatconguy: **you know what I just realized?

**rockstarindiapers: **what?

**thatconguy: **i was talking to Juliet and she thought i was in my tent o_0 hope she didn't try to visit me

**rockstarindiapers: **she must've forgotten about the texting chat feature

**thatconguy: **only explanation, i guess

**wearetheisland **_has logged out (Quit: DAH:FHUIOO89werfew8fHAM)_

**freckles **_has entered the chat._

**freckles: **we have a new mission objective… would you like to tell them, Sawyer?

**theconguy: **whatever, we want to get some hamburgers

**freckles: **no, no, you have to say it like: our new objective is to obtain three hamburgers

**theconguy: **three?! this is the first BBQ food i'll have had in months and you want me to only eat one?! I have to say this… bitch you crazy!

**rockstarindiapers: **bring me some apple juice

**theconguy: **no

**rockstarindiapers: **-sulk-

**mrphilosophy: **Charlie, you could always check the kitchen -.-

**rockstarindiapers: **oh, right

**rockstarindiapers **_has logged out (Quit: me want apple juice)_

**mrphilosophy **_has logged out (Quit: because you KNOW he won't find it)_

**iseedeadguys **_has logged out (Quit: iseedeadguys)_

**spazofphysics **_has logged out (Quit: gonna go back to the beach & find Charlotte. I'M NOT TWITCHY)_

********

**Actually, now I want some apple juice. Adios!**


	6. charladay sounds cute & richard runs off

Jack: **wearetheisland**  
Kate: **freckles**  
Sawyer: **thatconguy**  
Charlie: **rockstarindiapers**  
Hurley: **duuude**  
Juliet: **babydr**  
Locke: **mrphilosophy**  
Daniel: **spazofphysics  
**Desmond: **pushthebutton  
**Sayid: **notaterrorist**  
Sun: **gardengirl  
**Jin: **Jin  
**Charlotte: **imissmydannykins**  
Ben: **manbehindthecurtain**  
Miles: **iseedeadguys**  
Danielle: **crazyforestlady  
**Richard: **dontdoaging  
**Claire: **backfromthedead**  
Boone: **ihateplanes**  
Shannon: **betterthanu**  
Libby: **moonbeam**

****

**rockstarindiapers **_has entered the chat._  
**thatconguy **_has entered the chat._  
**manbehindthecurtain **_has entered the chat._  
**crazyforestlady **_has entered the chat._  
**notaterrorist **_has entered the chat._  
**moonbeam **_has entered the chat._

**rockstarindiapers: **ew, I don't want this apple juice anymore! It's all warm and stuff!

**thatconguy: **well, Chuckie, remind me to open up my private refrigerator and put it in there when we get back from this BBQ

**rockstarindiapers: **…private fridge? you're not here??

**rockstarindiapers **_has logged out (Quit: cold apple juice here I come!)_

**thatconguy: **Is he really gonna go see if I have a fridge? o_0

**notaterrorist: **most likely.

**manbehindthecurtain: **-humming the ducktales theme-

**thatconguy: **I remember that cartoon

**manbehindthecurtain: **I can't get the theme song out of my head. It's driving me insane.

**crazyforestlady: **You ARE insane

**manbehindthecurtain: **Takes one to know one! And besides, you're the one with 'crazy' in your username.  
**crazyforestlady: **Do I have to come shoot you?

**manbehindthecurtain: **-waves hand dismissively- Everyone else has tried.

**notaterrorist: **I can't remember if I shot at you or not

**manbehindthecurtain:** Things blur together. You probably have.

**moonbeam: **it would probably help our collective state of mind if we all calmed down and stopped talking about shooting one another.

**manbehindthecurtain: **I don't care.

**moonbeam: **you should.

**rockstarindiapers **_has entered the chat._

**rockstarindiapers: **there's no private fridge in your tent, Sawyer!

**thatconguy: **ummm, that's because I took it with us?

**rockstarindiapers: **Oh. that explains a lot.

**thatconguy: **son of a bitch… there _is _no private fridge, genius

**rockstarindiapers: **there isn't?

**thatconguy: **no! i was being sarcastic (as per usual)

**rockstarindiapers: **ohhhhhh

**thatconguy: **jeez

**babydr **_has entered the chat._  
**wearetheisland **_has entered the chat._

**babydr: **hi everyone

**thatconguy: **well, well, well…if it ain't blondie.

**babydr: **hello, sawyer. -_-

**thatconguy: **how's tricks down at the beach?

**babydr: **Shannon finally got her book back from Richard, who then thieved New Moon and ran off into the jungle  
**wearetheisland: **ah, the things people get into when I'm—I mean we're not there

**babydr: **it's not because you're gone, Jack, it's because we have to wait till January to do something worthwhile!  
**wearetheisland: **I still like to think our presence makes a difference, ok?! don't be mean =((

**spazofphysics **_has entered the chat._  
**imissmydannykins **_has entered the chat._  
**imissmydannykins **_has changed their name to _**iluvmydannykins.**

**spazofphysics: **I'm back on the beach :D

**wearetheisland: **wonderful… more hamburgers for us. c'mon sawyer, let's go get some BBQ

**thatconguy: **there'd better be ketchup

**thatconguy **_has logged out (Quit: thatconguy)  
_**wearetheisland **_has logged out (Quit: I want some BBQ :D)_

**iluvmydannykins: **Daniel, I'm kind of bored -yawn-

**spazofphysics: **we could go for a walk or something :)

**iluvmydannykins: **that sounds nice…

**spazofphysics **_has logged out (Quit: spazofphysics)_

**iluvmydannykins: **Yay :D

**iluvmydannykins **_has logged out (Quit: eeeeee! :DD)_

****

Hope you like it! I've started on an idea for ch. 7!


	7. the 2nd annual island book club

A/N: if you've never read Breaking Dawn and plan on doing so, don't read this chapter.

Jack: **wearetheisland**  
Kate: **freckles**  
Sawyer: **thatconguy**  
Charlie: **rockstarindiapers**  
Hurley: **duuude**  
Juliet: **babydr**  
Locke: **mrphilosophy**  
Daniel: **spazofphysics  
**Desmond: **pushthebutton  
**Sayid: **notaterrorist**  
Sun: **gardengirl  
**Jin: **Jin  
**Charlotte: **iluvmydannykins**  
Ben: **manbehindthecurtain**  
Miles: **iseedeadguys**  
Danielle: **crazyforestlady  
**Richard: **dontdoaging  
**Claire: **backfromthedead**  
Boone: **ihateplanes**  
Shannon: **betterthanu**  
Libby: **moonbeam  
**Michael: **iwannagohome**

*****

**betterthanu **_has entered the chat._  
**dontdoaging **_has entered the chat._  
**manbehindthecurtain **_has entered the chat._

**betterthanu: **RICHARD. GIVE NEW MOON BACK.

**dontdoaging: **what? Edward left? and now there are just blank pages…

**betterthanu: **yeah, she gets all zombie-like

**dontdoaging: **but my hand is getting tired… ooh, words!

**manbehindthecurtain: **wanna know what happens at the end of the series?

**dontdoaging: **no!

**manbehindthecurtain: **too bad. edward and bella sex it up on some island and she has this monster baby and then there's a big buildup to a battle and then the Vulturi are like "oops, sorry, no battle for you!" and everyone goes home and lives happily ever after.

**dontdoaging: **I'm not looking at that post

**betterthanu: **good for you, Richard, now give it back

**dontdoaging: **I'll speed-read… ooh, Jacob, Edward's not gonna be happy with you

**betterthanu: -_-**

**dontdoaging: **noo, edward, don't do it!

**betterthanu: **hurry up…

**dontdoaging: **bella, you idiot

**manbehindthecurtain: **…

**dontdoaging: **wtf Jacob, okay I'm done

**betterthanu: **finally!

**dontdoaging: **can I borrow Eclipse?

**betterthanu: **no

**dontdoaging **_is away: borrowing Eclipse from Shannon_

**betterthanu: **WHAT?!

**betterthanu **_has logged out (Quit: Gonna kill Richard)_

**manbehindthecurtain: **jeez, so much drama on this island

**babydr **_has entered the chat._

**babydr: **Help!

**manbehindthecurtain: **Hello, Juliet. :]

**babydr: **oh, it's you. nevermind

**manbehindthecurtain: **what's going on?

**babydr: **well, Richard came running through, dropped New Moon on Shannon's stomach, then headed for her suitcase. Shannon got up and grabbed his ankle, but he still clawed his way over there and got ahold of Eclipse. they had a tug-of-war until Richard let go, let Shannon fall, and grabbed Eclipse, running back into the jungle.

**manbehindthecurtain: **Interesting. so I was thinking… wanna set up a new book club?

**babydr: **oh, why not. what should we read?

**manbehindthecurtain: **well there is this novel…

**babydr: **oh yeah?

**manbehindthecurtain: **and I heard it's really good.

**babydr: **what's the title?

**manbehindthecurtain: **Fox in Socks, by Dr. Suess.

**babydr: **sounds marvelous, get your hands on a few copies and tell everyone to get on chat.

**manbehindthecurtain **_has logged off (Quit: will do)_

**wearetheisland **_has entered the chat._  
**freckles **_has entered the chat._  
**thatconguy **_has entered the chat._  
**rockstarindiapers **_has entered the chat._  
**duuude **_has entered the chat._  
**mrphilosophy **_has entered the chat._  
**iwannagohome **_has entered the chat.  
_**iluvmydannykins **_has entered the chat._  
**iseedeadguys **_has entered the chat._  
**Jin **_has entered the chat._  
**gardengirl **_has entered the chat._  
**moonbeam **_has entered the chat.  
_**dontdoaging **_has entered the chat._  
**manbehindthecurtain **_has entered the chat._

**manbehindthecurtain: **This was everyone I could get. I wasn't sure that you would get the message, Richard—I had to kind of yell at the jungle and hope you'd hear

**dontdoaging: **I have good hearing

**moonbeam: **what exactly did you want?

**babydr: **You are all cordially invited to the 2nd Weekly Island Book Club. This event will be held TOMORROW at 8:37 P.M. RVSP right now.

**duuude: **what're we reading?

**manbehindthecurtain: **Fox in Socks.

**duuude: **I'll be there

**wearetheisland: **I suppose I—I mean we—can be there to set a good example for everyone else

**freckles: **right

**thatconguy: **whatever.

**iwannagohome: **I guess I could bring Walt

**iluvmydannykins: **I'll tell Daniel about it

**rockstarindiapers: **and I'll tell Claire

**Jin: **I'm all for it :D

**gardengirl: **I suppose I'll go…

**mrphilosophy: **sure

**moonbeam: **okay?

**manbehindthecurtain: **those of you with Pi-phones™, make sure you locate the appointment planner and input the date and time of the event

**duuude: **okay… when are we again?

**manbehindthecurtain: **-.- just put tomorrow at 8:37 P.M.

**thatconguy: **alright, it's all good. can I go back to my hamburgers now?

**freckles: **the stack from the camera base camp? sure.

**babydr: **will someone go to the kitchen tomorrow to get refreshments?

**rockstarindiapers: **I will!

**mrphilosophy: **I'll help

**wearetheisland: **we'll be back in time, maybe around 4 tomorrow afternoon

**iluvmydannykins: **cool! it's set :D

**babydr: **I can't wait for tomorrow!

****

longer chapter today :D


	8. a very short chapter regarding tonight

**A/N: I'm quite glad that people like this story. :D You can expect a chapter up tonight by 8:37 PM (as promised) but I decided to put a (very short) chapter up regarding the events of the day. I just went to an eye appointment and they put drops in my eyes, so if there are any typos, forgive me.**

********

Jack: **wearetheisland**  
Kate: **freckles**  
Sawyer: **thatconguy**  
Charlie: **rockstarindiapers**  
Hurley: **duuude**  
Juliet: **babydr**  
Locke: **mrphilosophy**  
Daniel: **spazofphysics  
**Desmond: **pushthebutton  
**Sayid: **notaterrorist**  
Sun: **gardengirl  
**Jin: **Jin  
**Charlotte: **iluvmydannykins**  
Ben: **manbehindthecurtain**  
Miles: **iseedeadguys**  
Danielle: **crazyforestlady  
**Richard: **dontdoaging  
**Claire: **backfromthedead**  
Boone: **ihateplanes**  
Shannon: **betterthanu**  
Libby: **moonbeam  
**Michael: **iwannagohome  
**Walt: **dogsrcool102**

********

**spazofphysics **_has entered the chat._  
**dontdoaging **_has entered the chat._  
**wearetheisland **_has entered the chat._  
**thatconguy **_has entered the chat._

**wearetheisland: **good news! I'm—I mean we're on our way back to the beach :D

**thatconguy: **sorry to burst your bubble, doc, but it doesn't look like we have much company.

**dontdoaging: **so I finished Eclipse last night, and I have to say I can't remember anything about it at all.

**spazofphysics: **I have a msg from Juliet guys

**wearetheisland: **okay, bring it on

**spazofphysics: **she wants to hold the meeting on our Pi-phones™ since Richard would miss out on it if we didn't

**dontdoaging: **I'm honored :D

**wearetheisland: **but only I—and some other people—own Pi-phones™…

**dontdoaging: **maybe we should get a vote

**wearetheisland: **I vote we shouldn't… maybe we should hold it in chat and people who don't have Pi-phones™ can go there

**spazofphysics: **ahh, that's a good idea

**wearetheisland: **I came up with it all by myself B-)

**dontdoaging: **Jack, your ego is humongous

**wearetheisland: **why yes. yes it is.

**dontdoaging: **just making sure you knew…

**spazofphysics: **whatever, I'll suggest it to Juliet

**wearetheisland: **so do I get a medal or something?

**spazofphysics: **Nope

**wearetheisland: **what?! D:

**spazofphysics **_has logged out (Quit: spazofphysics)_

**wearetheisland **_has logged out (Quit: I want a medal D:)_

**dontdoaging **_has logged out (Quit: I need Breaking Dawn)_


	9. after book club part one

Jack: **wearetheisland**  
Kate: **freckles**  
Sawyer: **thatconguy**  
Charlie: **rockstarindiapers**  
Hurley: **duuude**  
Juliet: **babydr**  
Locke: **mrphilosophy**  
Daniel: **spazofphysics  
**Desmond: **pushthebutton  
**Sayid: **notaterrorist**  
Sun: **gardengirl  
**Jin: **Jin  
**Charlotte: **iluvmydannykins**  
Ben: **manbehindthecurtain**  
Miles: **iseedeadguys**  
Danielle: **crazyforestlady  
**Richard: **dontdoaging  
**Claire: **backfromthedead**  
Boone: **ihateplanes**  
Shannon: **betterthanu**  
Libby: **moonbeam  
**Michael: **iwannagohome  
**Walt: **dogsrcool102**  
Eko: **mr_e**

****

**8:36 P.M.  
****ANNOUNCEMENT**

**WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT THE LOCAL ISLAND INSTANT MESSAGING SERVER IS DOWN. HAHA, GUESS YOU'LL HAVE TO HOLD YOUR MEETING ELSEWHERE.**

**-JACOB**

****

_laterrr_

**babydr **_has entered the chat._  
**thatconguy **_has entered the chat._  
**dontdoaging **_has entered the chat._  
**mr_e **_has entered the chat._  
**notaterrorist **_has entered the chat._  
**wearetheisland **_has entered the chat.  
_

_

* * *

_

**wearetheisland: **well, personally, i liked the book.

**babydr: **really? because I heard even Walt thought it was crap.

**wearetheisland: **oh. well, I meant it was OK.

**thatconguy: **uh huh. sure, doc.

**mr_e: **...

**notaterrorist: **yes, we get it, you're not gonna talk

**mr_e: **I wasn't there

**dontdoaging: **-sniffs- I think Twilight was better. And I got Breaking Dawn!

**notaterrorist: **from Shannon?

**dontdoaging: **no. from Kate!

**freckles **_has entered the chat.  
_

**freckles: **RICHARD!

**dontdoaging: **yes? :D

**freckles: **you stole my book, didn't you?!

**dontdoaging: **nooo. why would I do that?

**thatconguy: **because it's logical. you freak Shannon out until she learns you got it elsewhere.

**freckles: **what he said!

**iwannagohome **_has entered the chat.  
_

**iwannagohome: **this place sucks

**thatconguy: **and why would you think that, daddy-o?

**iwannagohome: **my son's forgotten how to count? all he says is 4-8-15-16-23-42 now!

* * *

unfortunately my parents are being stupid and making me get offline now. stay tuned for part two!


	10. after book club part two

**A/N: oh my. Am I on chapter ten already? And I only published this story four days ago? Wow. Anyway, I'd like to give a big thank-you shoutout to all of my reviewers :D You guys have reviewed every chapter I can see… and that's awesome! I'm not usually good at doing multi-chaptered stories.  
Thanks to everyone who reads this even if you didn't review. I'll get on with the story now. ;D**

****

Jack: **wearetheisland**  
Kate: **freckles**  
Sawyer: **thatconguy**  
Charlie: **rockstarindiapers**  
Hurley: **duuude**  
Juliet: **babydr**  
Locke: **mrphilosophy**  
Daniel: **spazofphysics  
**Desmond: **pushthebutton  
**Sayid: **notaterrorist**  
Sun: **gardengirl  
**Jin: **Jin  
**Charlotte: **iluvmydannykins**  
Ben: **manbehindthecurtain**  
Miles: **iseedeadguys**  
Danielle: **crazyforestlady  
**Richard: **dontdoaging  
**Claire: **backfromthedead**  
Boone: **ihateplanes**  
Shannon: **betterthanu**  
Libby: **moonbeam  
**Michael: **iwannagohome  
**Walt: **dogsrcool102**  
Eko: **mr_e  
**Ana Lucia: **neverthegoodcop**

****  
continuing from last chapter…  
****

**wearetheisland: **uhh… there might be a reason for that

**thatconguy: **have you tried… I don't know… teaching him to count?

**iwannagohome: **… no…

**thatconguy: **maybe you should go do that.

**iwannagohome **_has logged out (Quit: good point)_

**betterthanu **_has entered the chat._

**betterthanu: **has Richard stolen someone else's copy of Breaking Dawn?

**freckles: **yeah, he got mine :(

**betterthanu: **oh. well I don't really like you that much anyway.

**babydr: **that's not very nice…

**betterthanu: **I'm not very nice

**notaterrorist: **yes you are

**thatconguy: **shut up, loverboy. no PDA's in the chatroom.

**notaterrorist: **-.-

**neverthegoodcop **_has entered the chat._

**betterthanu: **who're you? o_0

**notaterrorist: **ooh. this is awkward…

**neverthegoodcop: **I killed you.

**betterthanu: **really?

**neverthegoodcop: **yeah.

**betterthanu: **I don't like you.

**neverthegoodcop: **from what I heard, you're a bitch anyway

**betterthanu: **uh, you shot me, I beg to differ

**neverthegoodcop: **because you were so bitchy I thought you were an Other

**wearetheisland: **ooh, burn

**betterthanu: **no one asked you, Jack :/

**betterthanu **_is away: …_

**wearetheisland: **that was a little harsh

**neverthegoodcop: **she should have known from my username.

**thatconguy: **that's true.

**freckles: **what about my book? D:

**dontdoaging: **I'll give it back, really

**freckles: **okay! but you'd better… or I'll kill you…

**neverthegoodcop: **uhh. I'm gonna have to discourage that... I am a cop and all...

**freckles: **so?!

**freckles **_has logged out (Quit: I will kill whoever I want on this island, tyvm)_

**neverthegoodcop **_has logged out (Quit: sigh)_


	11. jack, kate, & sawyer go on another quest

**A/N: I love your idea, ****Unidentified Pineapples****. I'll use it :D Ahh, Richard is gonna stir up some trouble todayy :) Oh, and I personally like Sawyer/Juliet compared to Jack/Juliet (what do they call that pairing anyway? JuliJack? lol), but I guess I'll humor both sides.**

Jack: **wearetheisland**  
Kate: **freckles**  
Sawyer: **thatconguy**  
Charlie: **rockstarindiapers**  
Hurley: **duuude**  
Juliet: **babydr**  
Locke: **mrphilosophy**  
Daniel: **spazofphysics  
**Desmond: **pushthebutton  
**Sayid: **notaterrorist**  
Sun: **gardengirl  
**Jin: **Jin  
**Charlotte: **iluvmydannykins**  
Ben: **manbehindthecurtain**  
Miles: **iseedeadguys**  
Danielle: **crazyforestlady  
**Richard: **dontdoaging  
**Claire: **backfromthedead**  
Boone: **ihateplanes**  
Shannon: **betterthanu**  
Libby: **moonbeam  
**Michael: **iwannagohome  
**Walt: **dogsrcool102**  
Eko: **mr_e  
**Ana Lucia: **neverthegoodcop**

********

**freckles **_has entered the chat._  
**wearetheisland **_has entered the chat._  
**thatconguy **_has entered the chat._  
**babydr **_has entered the chat._  
**betterthanu **_has entered the chat._  
**spazofphysics **_has entered the chat._  
**dontdoaging **_has entered the chat._

**dontdoaging: **so I finished Breaking Dawn… and I've gotta say, that ending was CHEESY.

**freckles: **I know! tons of fans were totally outraged by that ending

**dontdoaging: **…anyway, I've been comparing the people on the Island to the ones in Twilight. And I'm have trouble deciding Bella & Edward due to the extreme love polygons.

**babydr: **tell me about it.

**wearetheisland: **OBVIOUSLY I'm that main guy… I'm valiant and brave and stuff

**thatconguy: **uh huh, sure doc. who am I then?

**dontdoaging: **Emmett?

**freckles: **if Jack is Edward…

**babydr: **then who's Bella?

**freckles: **-glare-

**babydr: **-glare-

**freckles: **obviously me ( A/N: **Skate fans, kill me now. Jate fans, rejoice!**)

**dontdoaging: **o_o

**freckles: **I mean, most likely.

**betterthanu: **who would I be??

**dontdoaging: **… Rosalie.

**betterthanu: **but she comes off as shallow and manipulative and—oh, I see…

**thatconguy: **so who's this Emmett with?

**dontdoaging: **Rosalie.

**thatconguy: **who, Sticks over there? no thanks.

**betterthanu: **Sawyer, I can see you from here. Don't make me come kill you

**thatconguy:**

**betterthanu: **he's laughing. Ugh. I think he hit enter by accident

**manbehindthecurtain **_has entered the chat._

**babydr: **if I'm Alice, who's Jasper?

**dontdoaging: **that would be… a good question.

**manbehindthecurtain: **… we talking Twilight?

**dontdoaging: **mhm

**manbehindthecurtain: **ooh, pick me

**babydr: **two words. hell no.

**manbehindthecurtain: **well I have two words too: whatever

**babydr: **that's one word

**manbehindthecurtain: **shut up. there, that's two

**babydr: **actually, added to the whatever, that's three

**manbehindthecurtain: **-scowl- excluding the whatever

**dontdoaging: **WE NEED A JASPER. KATE! SAWYER! JACK!

**wearetheisland: **what!

**freckles: **what?

**thatconguy: **…oh, did I miss something?

**wearetheisland: **just say what

**thatconguy: **okay. what

**wearetheisland: **no, in a question.

**thatconguy: **-_- What?

**dontdoaging: **I have a quest for you!

**wearetheisland: **really!

**freckles: **really?

**thatconguy: **did I miss my cue? I mean realky?

**wearetheisland: **sawyer made a mistake lolol realky

**thatconguy: **really*

**dontdoaging: **find us a Jasper!

**wearetheisland: **okay!

**freckles: **okay

**thatconguy: **ookay…

**wearetheisland **_has logged out (Quit: hooray! another pointless quest-I MEAN ADVENTURE)_  
**freckles **_has logged out (Quit: yeah, an adventure!! :D)_

**thatconguy: ** this is so _stupid._

**thatconguy **_has logged out (Quit: ugh)_

**dontdoaging: **heyyyy no dissing Twilight!

****

**A/N: It's an interactive chapter. Or something. Anyway, who do you guys think would fit Jasper's role?**


	12. in which ben can't find the oranges

**Hello! I'm sorry I haven't updated in a few days. My friend came over and I started eighth grade and there's been homework every night except tonight, so I've been worrying about that… Anyway, I didn't have time to work on this story. Review please :D**

****

Jack: **wearetheisland**  
Kate: **freckles**  
Sawyer: **thatconguy**  
Charlie: **rockstarindiapers**  
Hurley: **duuude**  
Juliet: **babydr**  
Locke: **mrphilosophy**  
Daniel: **spazofphysics  
**Desmond: **pushthebutton  
**Sayid: **notaterrorist**  
Sun: **gardengirl  
**Jin: **Jin  
**Charlotte: **iluvmydannykins**  
Ben: **manbehindthecurtain**  
Miles: **iseedeadguys**  
Danielle: **crazyforestlady  
**Richard: **dontdoaging  
**Claire: **backfromthedead**  
Boone: **ihateplanes**  
Shannon: **betterthanu**  
Libby: **moonbeam  
**Michael: **iwannagohome  
**Walt: **dogsrcool102**  
Eko: **mr_e  
**Ana Lucia: **neverthegoodcop**

****

**spazofphysics **_has entered the chat._  
**mr_e **_has entered the chat._  
**crazyforestlady **_has entered the chat._  
**dontdoaging **_has entered the chat._  
**manehindthecurtain **_has entered the chat._

**manehindthecurtain: **dammit, I spelled my name wrong.

**manehindthecurtain **_has changed their name to _**manbehindthecurtain.**

**mr_e: **haha.

**spazofphysics: **ohh, I just got your name… it's like mr_e = mystery right?

**mr_e: **oh, yeah. I totally planned it that way.

**dontdoaging: **I got a text from Jack

**manbehindthecurtain: **oh, am I Jasper?

**dontdoaging: **well it's down to you, Sawyer & Boone

**manbehindthecurtain: **D=

**dontdoaging: **if you don't make Jasper, you'll probably be James

**crazyforestlady: **???

**dontdoaging: **you could be Victoria except you're not that evil, you don't want to kill Kate (at least, I don't think you do) and you and Ben are not BFFs

**manbehindthecurtain: **far from it..

**crazyforestlady: **indeed.

**spazofphysics: **charlotte is gonna log in

**iluvmydannykins** _has entered the chat._

**iluvmydannykins: **who can I be?!

**dontdoaging: **you could be Victoria except that Daniel doesn't fit the bill for James

**spazofphysics: **I could pretend to be evil for Charlotte :)

**iluvmydannykins: **=D

**dontdoaging: **cute. but Daniel, please, you are not evil

**iseedeadguys **_has entered the chat._

**iseedeadguys: **I've been hearing something about Twilight comparisons…

**dontdoaging: **oh, you could be Eric…

**iseedeadguys: **who?

**dontdoaging: **that kid no-one cares about

**iseedeadguys: **thanks, I feel great now

**dontdoaging: **although that could be Jin so Sun could be Angela

**iseedeadguys: **that is a much better idea

**rockstarindiapers **_has entered the chat._

**rockstarindiapers: **what's all this now?

**dontdoaging: **we're comparing ourselves to Twilight characters… you could be Mike, I suppose… except you don't like Kate like that… or _do you?_

**rockstarindiapers: **not… really?

**dontdoaging: **good, because a love pentagon sounds odd.

**manbehindthecurtain: **How come I can never find the oranges?!

**dontdoaging: **?

**rockstarindiapers: **?

**crazyforestlady: **!

**crazyforestlady: **oops

**crazyforestlady: **?

**manbehindthecurtain: **well, there are these oranges. and I see them all the time when I'm getting something else to eat… but whenever I want an orange, they're nowhere to be found!

**dontdoaging: **-snicker-

**manbehindthecurtain: **did you have something to do with this, Richard? :(

**rockstarindiapers: **c'mon, he was a geeky kid. take pity on the dude

**dontdoaging: **he was the reason for your death

**rockstarindiapers: **oh yeah, I forgot. HIDE THOSE ORANGES

**manbehindthecurtain: **aw man… :C

****

**a/n: **kind of short, but my brain is fried.


	13. in which Ana Lucia is devious

a/n: **Sorry I haven't posted in a couple days… I don't have as much free time D: This was for September 9****th****, which is why the holidays are what they are xD**

****

Jack: **wearetheisland**  
Kate: **freckles**  
Sawyer: **thatconguy**  
Charlie: **rockstarindiapers**  
Hurley: **duuude**  
Juliet: **babydr**  
Locke: **mrphilosophy**  
Daniel: **spazofphysics  
**Desmond: **pushthebutton  
**Sayid: **notaterrorist**  
Sun: **gardengirl  
**Jin: **Jin  
**Charlotte: **iluvmydannykins**  
Ben: **manbehindthecurtain**  
Miles: **iseedeadguys**  
Danielle: **crazyforestlady  
**Richard: **dontdoaging  
**Claire: **backfromthedead**  
Boone: **ihateplanes**  
Shannon: **betterthanu**  
Libby: **moonbeam  
**Michael: **iwannagohome  
**Walt: **dogsrcool102**  
Eko: **mr_e  
**Ana Lucia: **neverthegoodcop**

****

**wearetheisland **_has entered the chat._  
**manbehindthecurtain** _has entered the chat._

**wearetheisland:** Guess what!

**manbehindthecurtain: **what?

**wearetheisland: **today is a holiday! two, actually!

**manbehindthecurtain: **really now?

**wearetheisland: **yeah, it's Teddy Bear Day & also Wonderful Weirdos Day

**manbehindthecurtain: **they have a whole holiday just for you?

**wearetheisland: **yes, because i am a cuddly teddy bear and NOT A WEIRDO

**manbehindthecurtain: **mmhmm.

**betterthanu **_has entered the chat._

**wearetheisland: **hey, Shannon. what's up?

**betterthanu: **i'm a little weirded out.

**manbehindthecurtain: **why?

**betterthanu: **well, Hurley somehow managed to get it into his head that the world is gonna end at 9:09 PM at nine seconds, and Daniel is trying to explain it's not while making crazy hand motions

**wearetheisland: **oh. maybe I'd better go help with that. ta ta!

**wearetheisland **_has left the chat (Quit: oh, silly peoples.)_

**manbehindthecurtain: **…

**betterthanu: **i don't especially wanna talk to you

**manbehindthecurtain: **it'd be preferable if you didn't

**mrphilosophy **_has entered the chat._

**mrphilosophy: **hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

**manbehindthecurtain: **o_0

**mrphilosophy: **sorry, my iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii key iiiiiiiiiis stuck a liiiiiiiiittle biiiiiit

**betterthanu: **maybe you shouldn't use as many words with i's in them

**mrphilosophy: **don't tell me what iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii can't do!

**manbehindthecurtain: **Locke, chill… jeez

**mrphilosophy: **sorry

**spazofphysics **_has entered the chat._

**spazofphysics: **i give up!

**manbehindthecurtain: **hurley is still being a bit unreasonable?

**spazofphysics: **yeah… my flailing arms usually make most shut up… but not him

**betterthanu: **oooook

**neverthegoodcop **_has entered the chat._

**betterthanu: **um.

**neverthegoodcop: **ha xD

**betterthanu: **shut up

**spazofphysics: **I'll flail my arms at you both

**neverthegoodcop: **so? I'm a police officer, I think I can take it…

**spazofphysics **_has logged out (Quit: aww :L)_

-----

_the very next day…_

**duuude **_has entered the chat._  
**spazofphysics **_has entered the chat._  
**neverthegoodcop **_has entered the chat._

**spazofphysics: **are you ok, Hurley? see, the world's not over…

**duuude: **???

**spazofphysics: **jeez, you don't remember?

**duuude: **no, man, your hand motions were freaking me out

**neverthegoodcop: **HAHAHA

**spazofphysics: **-scowls- Shut up Ana Lucia

**neverthegoodcop: **uh huh, right. you're telling me to shut up? I could totally beat you up

**spazofphysics: **o_o

**spazofphysics **_has logged out (Quit: they never told me I was going to an island of crazies!!!!)_

**neverthegoodcop: **-grin-

**duuude: **whatever, dude.

**duuude **_has logged out (Quit: duuude)_

**neverthegoodcop **_has logged out (Quit: hehehe)_

------

a/n: **Not much, but eh… I'm tired.**


	14. author's note

**Oh my goodness! I'm really sorry, guys. I haven't had internet for two and a half weeks, since we've been moving and dealing with everything related to it. Blah. Anyway, I don't have any time to post anything, but I'm thinking of starting another LOST fic! So keep a lookout :D**


	15. danielle met a llama & jack got dissed

**a/n: Ahh. Heh. Hey, guys. Sorry I haven't posted in forever. Seriously, I was pretty busy all through November, making plans for high school and whatnot (I'm in eighth grade). But… I guess I've just been slacking in anticipation of break. Ha! On to the story!**

**HEY! IF YOU'RE GONNA READ BREAKING DAWN AND YOU HAVEN'T BEFORE, DON'T READ THIS CHAPTER!!! SPOILER ALERTTT. I think that was much better than the previous one.**

Jack: **wearetheisland**  
Kate: **freckles**  
Sawyer: **thatconguy**  
Charlie: **rockstarindiapers**  
Hurley: **duuude**  
Juliet: **babydr**  
Locke: **mrphilosophy**  
Daniel: **spazofphysics  
**Desmond: **pushthebutton  
**Sayid: **notaterrorist**  
Sun: **gardengirl  
**Jin: **Jin  
**Charlotte: **iluvmydannykins**  
Ben: **manbehindthecurtain**  
Miles: **iseedeadguys**  
Danielle: **crazyforestlady  
**Richard: **dontdoaging  
**Claire: **backfromthedead**  
Boone: **ihateplanes**  
Shannon: **betterthanu**  
Libby: **moonbeam  
**Michael: **iwannagohome  
**Walt: **dogsrcool102**  
Eko: **mr_e  
**Ana Lucia: **neverthegoodcop  
**Frank: **survivingpilot  
**

**coming soooon.  
Jacob_pwns_you**

****

**wearetheisland **_has entered the chat._**  
crazyforestlady **_has entered the chat._**  
iseedeadguys** _has entered the chat._  
**pushthebutton **_has entered the chat._

**wearetheisland: **I have an announcement!

**pushthebutton: **you know, i really haven't been in this at all…

**crazyforestlady: **well, you're better off than I am… I forgot I died

**mr_e: **…

**iseedeadguys: **how are you here? you're not showing on the user list

**wearetheisland: **guys!

**crazyforestlady: **I believe he is a ninja much like myself

**wearetheisland: **o_o

**pushthebutton: **o_0

**iseedeadguys: **eh, I've heard it before

**mr_e:** Mn.

**mr_e** _is being a ninja._

**iseedeadguys: **what? this isn't facebook… that's odd

**freckles** _has entered the chat._

**freckles: **hey guys, wassup?

**crazyforestlady: **I petted a llama the other day

**pushthebutton: **just killing time

**wearetheisland: **they won't let me make my announcement, kate!! help!

**freckles: ** I know you guys are excited or whatever but shut up, please

**wearetheisland: **WE'VE BEEN PUSHED BACK TO FEBRUARY!

**crazyforestlady: **I would care except I died

**pushthebutton: **I would care except I'm finally happy

**iseedeadguys: **I just really don't care

**freckles: **…. OH NO!

**wearetheisland: **I KNOW RIGHT!

**spazofphysics **_has entered the chat._

**spazofphysics: **hey guys! wassup home-skillet bizkits!

**wearetheisland: **uh… huh.

**freckles: **who've you been talking to?

**spazofphysics: **well… I was watching this video on my Pi-Phone™ about how to be a gangsta

**iseedeadguys: **oh, jeez.

**freckles: **I'm quite sure that Charlotte wouldn't like that

**spazofphysics: **even if I get real tough?

**wearetheisland: **HAHAHAHA

**freckles: **he means even if you do, it'll just make things weirder –internet-elbows Jack-

**wearetheisland: **OW… Danielle, I think I've met your alpaca friend—

**crazyforestlady: **LLAMA

**wearetheisland: **whatever. anyway. look out, peoples

**dontdoaging **_has entered the chat._

**dontdoaging: **so I was thinking about Breaking Dawn…

**freckles: **what about it?

**dontdoaging: **it's kind of gross.

**freckles: **?

**dontdoaging: **you knowww… the baby thing.

**freckles: **ohhh.

**dontdoaging: **and also the Vulturi thing is quite the letdown… they come all the way from Italy and everyone's all tense and tension, tension… but then the Vulturi are all like "UH UH, AMERICANOS! NO BATTLE FOR YOU! HAAAAAA!" and they leave… and the ending was kinda corny.

**wearetheisland: **lol, look at Richard… all downhearted over a girlie book

**dontdoaging: **shut up, Jack… you're the one who freaks out and doesn't listen and has a breathing problem all the dang time!!! I mean seriously!

**crazyforestlady: **ooooh

**freckles: **;O

**iseedeadguys: **I think you need some sunscreen for that burn!

**wearetheisland: **AMERICANOS IS SPANISH!

**wearetheisland **_is away: gawd. some people are just morons._

**crazyforestlady: **well, you fixed HIS wagon!

**dontdoaging: **what?

**crazyforestlady: **you're just jealous cuz you don't have a llama friend!

**crazyforestlady **_has logged out (quit: llamas are cool!) _

**spazofphysics: **you know, I'm really not sure what to do now… maybe I'll go find Charlotte

**spazofphysics **_has logged out (quit: lalalalalala)_

**pushthebutton: **maybe I should change my username, since there's no button anymore…

**pushthebutton **_has changed their name to _**des.**

**des: **much better. desmond, awayyyyyyy!

**des **_has logged out (quit: des)_

**freckles: **…

**iseedeadguys: **…

***

**a/n: that's all for now!**

**if you like the musical RENT, I've written fanfiction for that too **_**;D**_


	16. jack discovers twilight & angst galore

**a/n: Again, sorry for the wait. ****SEASON SIX EPISODE 1 SPOILERS!! !! 11! ****the other day I was in music class… and we were watching a movie as a reward for being bored out of our minds four days a week. We started watching this movie called **_**Iron Will,**_** which is about sled racing, and Christian was in it (the actor, whatever his name is, who plays Jack's dad)… until he drowned. x) And one other thing: I was watching the bonus features for season five, and apparently, the guy who plays Richard does not wear eyeliner! His eyes are naturally like that, and he has to wear concealer, actually. The jealousy! It burns!**

Jack: **wearetheisland**  
Kate: **freckles**  
Sawyer: **thatconguy**  
Charlie: **rockstarindiapers**  
Hurley: **duuude**  
Juliet: **babydr**  
Locke: **mrphilosophy**  
Daniel: **spazofphysics  
**Desmond: **dezzlefrezzle  
**Sayid: **notaterrorist**  
Sun: **gardengirl  
**Jin: **Jin  
**Charlotte: **iluvmydannykins**  
Ben: **manbehindthecurtain**  
Miles: **iseedeadguys**  
Danielle: **crazyforestlady  
**Richard: **dontdoaging  
**Claire: **backfromthedead**  
Boone: **ihateplanes**  
Shannon: **betterthanu**  
Libby: **moonbeam  
**Michael: **iwannagohome  
**Walt: **dogsrcool102**  
Eko: **mr_e  
**Ana Lucia: **neverthegoodcop  
**Frank: **survivingpilot  
**Jacob: **Jacob_pwns_you**

****

**mrphilosophy **_has entered the chat._  
**Jacob_pwns_you** _has entered the chat._  
**dezzlefrezzle** _has entered the chat._  
**babydr **_has entered the chat._  
**thatconguy **_has entered the chat._  
**spazofphysics **_has entered the chat._  
**wearetheisland **_has entered the chat._  
**freckles **_has entered the chat._  
**manbehindthecurtain **_has entered the chat._  
**duuude **_has entered the chat._

**Jacob_pwns_you: **so I died. that really sucks some major ass.

**mrphilosophy: **not to me!

**Jacob_pwns_you: **you hacker.

**mrphilosophy: **you betcha

**dezzlefrezzle: **so am I dead or not? I'm kind of confused.

**wearetheisland: **so am I because I remember you on the plane, but then I remember all the stuff that's been happening.

**duuude: **this island is wack, man.

**babydr: **you got that right

**thatconguy: **Juliet…!

**babydr: **hey James :]

**thatconguy: **this IM thingy is awesome...

**babydr: **yeah, cause apparently I'm dead now.

**thatconguy: **what was it that you were gonna tell me?

**babydr: **?? I dunno.

**spazofphysics: **man, why did my mom have to go and kill me? being dead sucks

**manbehindthecurtain: **I am not happy.

**mrphilosophy: **I guess that's my fault. oops

**freckles: **-angst-

**wearetheisland: **what's wrong, Kate?

**freckles: **now that they've decided to go with the Suliet plotline, my life is ruined! no longer do I have two men pining after me! only the less sexy one with relationship issues and alcoholism still wants me!

**wearetheisland: **huh? plotline? I have no idea where you're going with that—hey! I don't have alcohol _or _relationship problems

**thatconguy: **because you've never actually had an established relationship on the island? yeah, totally.

**manbehindthecurtain: **or because the only love you can get was from a patient? suure, Jack. just keep believing.

**wearetheisland **_is away: I'M NOT CRYING, OKAY? I HAVE SOMETHING IN MY EYE_

**freckles: **nice job guys

**manbehindthecurtain: **What? You're the one who went and insulted him in the first place. We just proved your point.

**mrphilosophy **_has been kicked out of the room by _**Jacob_pwns_you **_for inappropriate behavior and spamlike private messages._

**spazofphysics: **yeah, I don't know what all the plotline talk is about either.

**mrphilosophy **_has entered the chat._

**Jacob_pwns_you **_has been kicked out of the room by _**mrphilosophy **_for being rude._

**Jacob_pwns_you **_has entered the chat._

**Jacob_pwns_you: **so it appears we're at a standstill

**mrphilosophy: **indeed. let's go have a fight about it even though you're dead

**Jacob_pwns_you: **okay

**mrphilosophy **_is away:_ _la la la la la.. gonna fight a ghost_

**Jacob_pwns_you **_is away: fight time_

**manbehindthecurtain: **So now that they're gone…

**neverthegoodcop **_has entered the chat._

**neverthegoodcop: **what's shakin bacon? I totally forgot about this IM thing…

**spazofphysics: **I heard that you've been getting into the movie industry

**neverthegoodcop: **-shifty eyes- maybe so. what's it to ya?

**spazofphysics: **nothing, nothing o_o

**wearetheisland **_has returned: gone for 0d 0h 10m 3sec_

**wearetheisland: **so I found this book…

**spazofphysics: **okay…

**wearetheisland: **I think it's the one Richard likes

**spazofphysics: **don't go behind Richard's back, man

**babydr: **_Twilight?_ Our book club book?

**manbehindthecurtain: **I think that's the one

**wearetheisland: **it's actually not that bad

**babydr: **so you like it?! oh, I'm so telling!

**thatconguy: **ha! jack's a girly man

**babydr: **next thing you know, he'll be layering on the guyliner

**wearetheisland: **like Richard doesn't!

**babydr: **actually, that's natural

**wearetheisland **_sniffles._

**wearetheisland: **whatever! it's not like I need eyeliner anyway!

**manbehindthecurtain: **I must say I'm amused, Jack

**wearetheisland: **I'm leaving!

**wearetheisland **_has left the chat (quit: pfffft)_

**spazofphysics **_has left the chat (quit: omg! I'm hungry)_

**dezzlefrezzle: **hello? anyone?

_6 members of chat are idle._


	17. reboot!

**a/n: **I have no idea how long this is going to last. x) not long because my father just told me to get off the computer.

Jack: **wearetheisland**  
Kate: **freckles**  
Sawyer: **thatconguy**  
Charlie: **rockstarindiapers**  
Hurley: **duuude**  
Juliet: **babydr**  
Locke: **mrphilosophy**  
Daniel: **spazofphysics  
**Desmond: **dezzlefrezzle  
**Sayid: **notaterrorist**  
Sun: **gardengirl  
**Jin: **Jin  
**Charlotte: **iluvmydannykins**  
Ben: **manbehindthecurtain**  
Miles: **iseedeadguys**  
Danielle: **crazyforestlady  
**Richard: **dontdoaging  
**Claire: **backfromthedead**  
Boone: **ihateplanes**  
Shannon: **betterthanu**  
Libby: **moonbeam  
**Michael: **iwannagohome  
**Walt: **dogsrcool102**  
Eko: **mr_e  
**Ana Lucia: **neverthegoodcop  
**Frank: **survivingpilot  
**Jacob: **Jacob_pwns_you**

**wearetheisland **_has entered the chat._

**wearetheisland: **hello?

**wearetheisland: **guys?

**wearetheisland: **is anyone there?

**wearetheisland: **am I here?

**wearetheisland: **what's going on? :C

**duuude **_has entered the chat._

**duuude: **Jack! you're here too!

**duuude: **oh man, I thought I was losing it.

**duuude: **where are you?

**wearetheisland: **sitting in a church.

**duuude: **oh. me too! look 5 rows behind you!

**wearetheisland: **well we could just talk... I mean what's the point of chatting

**duuude: **nah man, chatting is fun... oh look theres Locke! I'm gonna go say hi

**duuude **_has left the chat._

**wearetheisland: **but you just said!

**wearetheisland: **ugh. whatever. I'll come say hi too.

**wearetheisland **_has left the chat._

**freckles **_has entered the chat._

**freckles: **hello? I'm in a bathroom, is anybody there?

**freckles: **what the.. I looked outside and.. am I in a church?


End file.
